If you keep finding yourself on an emotional rollercoaster it is a sign you need to do some inner work. If you continue to have the same dramas with people over and over, you need to so some inner work. Inner work means clearing the mental and emotional effects of the past. Breathing, focusing, appreciating or observing will bring you to a state of harmony in the present moment, but until the inner work is done, it is simply a band aid solution which only prolongs the pain.
How do I know this? Because I tried to avoid the inner work for 10 years. At the time I didn’t realise that is what I was doing. I thought, like most people that all those techniques which bring you back to the present was the same as doing the inner work. I thought that being aware was enough. And for some people it is. But for those who need to do inner work it is not enough.
I thought that reading books, attending workshops, connecting with my soul, getting in touch with my Higher Self, meditating, affirmations, connecting with nature and the multitude of programs on offer would be enough. I thought I was growing, changing and healing. I was expanding my conscious knowledge. But I was not growing and healing. I was fooling myself and so does everyone who needs to do inner work and avoids it. Eventually, the day comes when they finally have enough.
Inner work involves letting the unconscious mind know it is time to move on. The unconscious mind has to let go of the story and the perceptions and the solidified thought forms called beliefs. Inner work means changing the old tape that runs constantly in your head that creates dramas and emotional roller coasters.
The nature of your childhood and the way you are wired determines whether or not you will need to do inner work in your adult life. If your childhood involved abuse, bullying, constant criticism, negativity, neglect, abandonment of any kind even if it was mild, then you are a possible candidate for inner work. If you experienced low self esteem or financial hardship, chances are you will need to inner work. If you add highly strung, sensitive, artistic or creative to that mix, then start looking for a therapist who can facilitate inner work.
Inner work means releasing the past on an emotional level. Anyone can forgive in their head. We can all rationalise that our parents did the best they could, and that is the first step, but it is only a step. When I started my inner work I actually had a PHD psychologist tell me to sit down and write a letter to my father telling him of all the things I was forgiving him for. How did she not know that forgiveness can only come once the emotional pain has been released?
I wrote that letter and shed not one tear. My ‘story’ was one of horror but I had so compartmentalised and blocked it that I felt nothing and thought I was done. I had listened to the experts. When it finally dawned on me the magnitude of what inner work really meant, and what it would actually mean for me, I strongly rebelled against it and decided that it was not only totally impossible but decidedly unjust. How can a father treat a family like that? How am I supposed to get over that? Impossible. Unfair. Why should I forgive? The world sucks.
And I stayed in that place for years. Eventually, when I’d had enough emotional rollercoasters, I started the inner work and began to heal. For me it was gradual and the real change came after I learned to facilitate my own growth work, which by the way, I still do on a daily basis.
So, if your life is one continual roller coaster of emotions, don’t listen to the advice of your well meaning friends who give you sympathy, tell you how brave and strong and beautiful you are, how it will all pass, how the right man will soon come along, unless of course you want to feel the same in another 10 years. Trust me, the rollercoaster will not let you off and the conflicts and dramas will not end until you clear the past at an emotional level. That is inner work. That is what needs to happen if you want to experience the sheer bliss of joy, peace, harmony and self love. You do want that, don’t you?
If you need help getting off your emotional roller coaster, perhaps this could help.