Recently, I coached a smart, dedicated solopreneur who was struggling a little to get her business up and running consistently. She had been at it for a while, learning, growing, changing, implementing and very much open to change.
But, as they say, we all have our blind spots. And hers was a dreaded fear of failure which she had managed to hide from herself amidst a whole heap of busy work and activity. It came up when I mentioned the concept of ‘hustling.’
If you are an entrepreneur it is a word you should be familiar with but in case you’re not, here’s a quick run down. To hustle means to drum up business, it means being proactive and actively seeking out opportunities and it means to ‘sell’ what you have.
Now I don’t know if it was the word ‘hustle’ that triggered my client into a panic or the fact that it brought up the possibility of both rejection and failure. When I asked her if she had a fear of failure she said she didn’t and muscle testing revealed the same, but something had been triggered.
So I ran a few other beliefs around failure past her and it turns out she had massive program around failure, not the fear of failure as such and not the belief that’s she was a failure.And that’s why I double and triple check the muscle testing results.
She equated failure as bad, something to be avoided at all costs. Once of her beliefs looked like this. ‘I must never fail.’ Another was ‘Only stupid people fail.’ And this one. ‘I would rather die than fail.’ Wow. Such a strong, highly emotional belief. No wonder she crumbled at the first sign of failure, or the first ‘No.’
All of these beliefs and many more around failure were unconscious. My client had no idea that she carried such negative and limiting beliefs, but it had been obvious something was going on. The results in her business had been poor because her performance was poor as she quickly gave up on all courses of action that did not produce immediate results.
Let’s be honest. Is failure really so bad? If it is simply a feeling, why does it hold so many of us back for so long.
Because it’s not the fear itself that’s the problem.
The fear of failure is only a symptom of the larger and much more confronting notion that essentially we are flawed and that to fail will reveal that to the world when we’ve developed such an elaborate inner network to hide those imperfections.
To fail will prove it. And that is what terrifies us. We believe we are flawed and yet we want to pretend we are not, that we are capable and worthy and lovable. What a dilemma. It is the quintessential inner conflict.
This feeling of being flawed is what keeps all of us playing small and hiding our light. It is of course a lie, a great big Spiritual Lie. At the level of our personality, we are all flawed. No one is perfect and without fault and yet from the perspective of our Soul, we are perfect and whole and complete.
One of the aspects of my coaching that differs from traditional coaching is that I work specifically on changing beliefs fast, particularly the stubborn ones, those inbuilt and almost hardwired beliefs that are inherited through DNA. Success, like a lot of things often comes with a genetic predisposition which is why it seems impossible for some to achieve the levels of success they want.
As we started to reframe her beliefs around failure she sensed a lightness and a freedom that had been missing before and a couple of days later she reported increased activity, the kind that will reap results and a true willingness, even an eagerness to embrace the hustle.
A great result for both coach and client. If you’d like to experience results like this, and you want you to get your hustle on, then you know what to do. Connect with me here if you’re still thinking about it and want to learn more about how to use the power of your mind to live a life by design instead of one by default. But if you know it’s your time and you are ready, let’s see how fast we can change that mind of yours and get you hustling like a professional.