Once you have made a decision about someone and you have decided you don’t like them, how hard is it to change your mind about that person?
Do you ever change your mind about them or do you dislike them for ever, regardless of what they do?
If you are like most people you will rarely change your mind about certain things.
Once our minds are made up, that’s generally the way they stay even when evidence to support the opposite keeps presenting itself.
Imagine the strength of decisions we make in childhood when we are like sponges, soaking up everything around us. We make decisions about ourselves, our place in the world and how it works for us. And if you happen to be sensitive and/or a deep thinker you can become acutely aware of your place in the world. Even if that decision is wrong. In childhood, we don’t have access to all the information so we generally base our decisions on evidence that is half baked and handed to us by those who also don’t know any better.
Then imagine as you go through life those decisions get reinforced by the experiences you have so that those decisions seem very real and they feel like they are the truth. And your place in the world and what’s possible for you gets set.
Let’s suppose the decisions you made which were based on solid evidence in your mind at the time were mostly negative and very limiting. Your place in the world and what’s possible for you is then set far too low.
And let’s suppose that as you grow older and see a different side of life, perhaps you get some good education, have a few successes and read books which tell you that anything is possible, you start to question those original decisions.
Very soon you have developed a set of opposing beliefs which sit aside the original ones. Now you have an inner conflict going on. On one side you have old thoughts that keep on making their presence felt, which you try to squash with positive thinking and optimism but which continue to sabotage you at every turn and yet you also have a knowing that you can do better, that you have something to offer the world.
What a dilemma. Some days it feels like you are just fooling yourself, simply imagining that you are better that what you are. And you retreat. Other days the knowing is strong and you strive forward in leaps and bounds.
But it’s exhausting and you are tired. It would be easy to give up. And yet you can’t. Something deep inside is pulling you, pushing you, urging you to step up, be more, shine your light. But you are afraid.
What if you are wrong and you stuff up? What if they laugh at you? What if you build it and they don’t come?
And on and on it goes. And you feel like a butterfly trapped in a net, seeing the freedom of the world out there but not being able to fly away.
Decisions that we make are not easy to change at times, especially the old ones, and they sometimes feel impossible to change when we have lived them out sometimes for decades. They are not easy to change when we have experienced them to be real.
And I know you have tried. You have been positive for what seems like an eternity but still the old stuff keeps showing up. When will it ever end?
Will it ever end? That depends.
Part of the problem is that we’ve been told to think positive thoughts, to stay focused and to be grateful. And lord knows we’ve done that.
And we still haven’t managed to fly free and become more of who we truly are.
Truth is you have been given only part of the solution. The breakthrough comes when we let go of the old stuff, the decisions you adopted that you don’t even remember making, the ones that have shaped your experiences up until now.
That’s when the butterfly is set free.
Maybe you would like to come and join us here in this beaut little Facebook group while you learn more about what is possible for you and how to change where your place in the world has been set.
But if you have had enough and you are ready to let go of the old stuff, let’s get started. Either way, I would love to connect with you and watch the butterfly fly free.