I Know I’m Good Enough so Why Don’t I Feel Like It?

Am I EnoughAm I enough?

How many times have you felt like you weren’t good enough even when you know it’s not entirely true?

The question “Am I enough?” is real and part of the human condition. And don’t for a minute think that this feeling only affects those at the bottom of the food chain, or those who have been dragged up in dysfunctional homes.

It is something most of us have struggled with at some time in our lives, even though it is a subject not many of us admit to or openly talk about.  Generally it is because we feel like we are the only ones who suffer from this nagging doubt and need to pretend we have it all together.

Not feeling good enough or feeling less than other people triggers the emotion of shame.  And shame is a very toxic, low vibration emotion, and a very painful one.  And it is so difficult to spot in ourselves as it is the one we are least familiar with

Many of those I work with know on some level they have the skills, the capability and the experience to do the work they choose to do but yet they still come up against that nagging ‘not enough’ feeling when it comes to self promotion, public speaking or asking for the sale.

But how can that be? How can we know one thing and feel something entirely different?

At a conscious level we have the evidence and the experience of our ability and our worth. We have done the work, been to the courses, proven ourselves over and over. But yet we still don’t ‘feel’ it.

Why is that?

Because we have two separate minds. Our conscious mind is working with the here and now and is up to date with all the improvements we have made in our lives but the unconscious mind has recorded all the events of the past and stored all of the unresolved emotions that have ever happened to us.

It remembers all the times you were yelled at for not getting it right and it recalls all those looks that parents and teachers made in your direction which showed you that you weren’t up to scratch.  And it has stored all the times you were compared to others and came off second best and all the times you judged yourself so harshly. Your unconscious mind made decisions about those episodes and about yourself and your place in the world.   And those decisions and those unresolved feelings account for the way you might feel ‘not enough’ today despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Of course, most of this happened below the surface of your awareness. I joke when I’m explaining this to clients and say, ‘That’s why it’s called the unconscious mind.’  You are mostly unaware of its activities.

Your unconscious mind is carrying an entirely different story from the one you try to present to the world.   And when you attempt to step out of your comfort zone the fear of being shamed for not being enough is triggered.

Feeling less than worthy or less than capable inside fuels our fear of stepping up and out, causes procrastination and sabotage and generally makes us settle for less than we truly deserve.

How can we get these two minds to cooperate with each other and let go of the old programming that is creating this inner conflict?

There are a number of ways to clear beliefs and emotions and align our two minds.

  • Every time you feel that feeling, you can refute it and reframe it. One of the mantras I use is, ‘That’s nonsense.  Of course I’m good enough.’  Be prepared to stick with this until you reach the tipping point.
  • Hypnosis is a tool that works to change this at a deep level.  To change deep Core Beliefs  requires time so might I suggest a session with a therapist who records the work so that continued listening makes the necessary changes.
  • Tapping is one of my preferred tools.  It also doesn’t change a Core Belief immediately, and I would recommend 21 to 30 days to shift a deep belief.  Once of the benefits of tapping over other methods is that it can take the negative charge off past events really easy and it often our emotions that keep us stuck in old programming.
  • Theta Healing is the new kid on the block when it comes to rapid shifts. It can dramatically shorten the time frame in terms of results with Core Beliefs and it can clear them from your DNA.  This is my number one method.

We never have to stay stuck feeling less than you truly are.

If you are sick and tired of feeling like this and self doubt and holding back is keeping you playing small or if it is causing you to not get the results you want despite your best efforts, then let’s schedule a Discovery Session to see if we are a fit to change that for you. I work with energy, not the conscious mind and that means tons of old crap can be shifted quickly.

You could be cutting years off your journey to success.  Alternatively, why not join me in this Facebook group and have all your questions about mindset and success answered.   You’d be more than welcome.

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2 Responses to I Know I’m Good Enough so Why Don’t I Feel Like It?

  1. Sandra Pawula
    Twitter:
    July 30, 2016 at 3:36 am #

    Thanks for this reminder about the unconscious mind! I find it’s always good to be gentle with myself when these critical thoughts come up and as you suggest reject them as ridiculous.

    • Madonna July 30, 2016 at 10:28 am #

      Yes Sandra, that’s what I do. Simply reject them.

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