I’m sure most of you would answer a resounding ‘No’ to that question. The interesting thing is that I see clients, friends and acquaintances do just that everyday. And they don’t even realize it.
The slave driver is themselves. In conversations or client sessions I hear women describe themselves as lazy, incompetent, not good enough, not deserving enough or their actions as unforgiveable simply because they made a mistake or misjudged someone else’s character. Sometimes they call themselves a bad mother, an unreliable friend or a failure.
And the truth is that they are none of those things. These are some of the many lies we tell ourselves. We allow the voice in our head to tell us a pack of lies and we also allow ourselves to buy into those lies, despite massive evidence to the contrary.
Would we describe our best friend that way? Of course not. Would we subject others to such harsh judgements based on very flimsy evidence? Of course not. So, why do we treat ourselves with such harshness? Why are so many women their own worst enemy?
Strangely enough, at the core of all negative behaviours is a misguided attempt to create a positive outcome. But, I don’t think it matters why we berate ourselves for the slightest thing. What matters is recognising the lies we tell ourselves and stopping it.
When women treat themselves so harshly, it shows up in their lives as self doubt, procrastination, lack of money, poor relationships, sabotage or overwhelm.
Why? Because no one in their right mind would work for such a judgemental bully. And if you are treating yourself that way, then you won’t work effectively for yourself either.
Become your own best friend. Treat yourself as you would treat someone you loved. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Support yourself. Accept your flaws and shortcomings. Forgive yourself for all your ‘mistakes’ and remember that there are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn and grow. If you continue to do this, the quality of your life will dramatically improve. You’ll become healthier, happier, more prosperous, and best of all, your own best friend. And as women, we all know the value of a best friend, don’t we?