Have you ever considered just how much life on this planet works on cause and effect? This incident really made me sit up and take even more notice of how the dots of our life are joined and how discovering them is my gift.
Whenever I hear a story or see a news item about a situation, my first thought is ‘I know why that happened.’ And I’m sure that if I could ask those involved a few questions I would be right. And that is what I do with clients. Certain incidents in life create similar consequences. And what happened on the weekend reinforced that for me.
On Saturday, I attended a full day marketing workshop and a lot of good learnings came about for me. Love it when you can learn from a true master.
Right at the end of the day, the presenter asked us all to share our 30 day plan with the group so she could streamline it and give us some direction. The woman who sat next me explained how she was a bit stuck. Apparently she had a website that was created 3 years ago and it still wasn’t live because she couldn’t come up with even basic content.
The presenter gave her some tips as to how to make that process easier and I threw my ideas at her as an ex English teacher of how to get content happening with a blank mind.
But as the minutes passed it became obvious that this was a deep block of some kind. After the workshop I asked her if she had a problem with English at school. Quite the contrary she answered as she used to win prizes for her English in primary school. Next question was ‘Did something happen to you in high school?’ But she couldn’t remember if it did or not, which suggested it did, otherwise the answer would have been no.
As I was now able to closely observe her face as we stood together outside the look in her eyes and the expression on her face was that of a scared little girl. And I could see that talking about this had brought her close to tears. She looked like she wanted to run away and hide.
Without wanting to make the situation worse, my next question was asked very quietly and very gently. Did you have a lot of trauma in your life as a child?’
I knew I had hit the spot and she replied Yes, that she has PTSD and I asked her was she scared of being visible. I didn’t really need the answer, but I wanted to show her the connection between her inability to write the website content and past events. And the penny dropped for her.
What makes me kind of sad is that so few people make the connection between what they are stuck on now and past events. Nothing happens in a vacuum. And everything has a cause, even if we are unaware of it.
It’s also sad that it has taken so long for her to find a reason for the problem and that’s because there isn’t enough information around about this sort of thing generally available. I used to find strange that even though someone knows the WHY, they might choose to take no action. I offered her my services, but not a card. I was waiting to see if she asked and she didn’t. That tells me she is far from ready.
Once I would have said that it breaks my heart to witness people carrying pain they don’t need to and limiting their success and happiness because of it. But the truth is it doesn’t any more, and I came to that realisation finally when I understood that when something breaks our heart it has triggered old unresolved stuff in our bucket. And I have spent years emptying my bucket.
I feel for that woman and I empathise with her, but I know that we change and grow in our own time and not when someone else thinks we should be ready. And if some people choose not to grow at all that is perfectly OK.
Most of us are taught to look for solutions to our problems outside of ourselves, and because of that we often fail to see what the real problem is, but if we peer into our own sh#t buckets and empty them, give them a good clean out, we would start to become problem free.
I couldn’t help thinking what else in this woman’s life was unexpressed, what potential she might never reach and how unfulfilled she must be because of that bucket.
And I sent her love and energetically wished her well. If you have something in your life that is blocking your success or happiness, and you are ready to let go of it, even if you aren’t sure what it is, find out how I can help.