Why Are We So Hard on Negative People?

Dont Avoid Negative People

Why are we so down on negative people? Why does someone else’s negativity hold so much power over us? Why do we blame negative people for so much?  Why do they threaten us and why are we so afraid of their negativity? Why do we let them affect us so much?


  • We blame negative people for our own shortcomings.

The internet warns us daily of their poisonous effect.


Negative People 2




Really?  Can a negative person destroy your confidence and self esteem?  What nonsense.  Our sense of self must be pretty shaky if contact with a negative person has the power to achieve this.  Self confidence and self esteem come from within.  They can not be created by external means or destroyed by others without your permission.  Stop making negative people the scapegoat for a poorly developed sense of self.


  • We blame negative people because they trigger our own denied negativity.

We are cautioned to stay away from negative people lest they infect our beautifully positive mindset. If this so called positive mindset is so strong, how can anyone affect it?

Why do we blame negative people for our own state of mind? We give our power away when we make others responsible for how we feel.

Avoid Negative People

Aren’t you in charge of your mental and emotional state?  Aren’t others entitled to see the world in any way they choose? Are you forced to take the negative perceptions of others on board or is it because our own negativity bubbles just below the surface and contact with a negative person triggers our own, denied negativity?

The real test of your positive approach to life is to be with a negative person and come away with you glass still half full. Next time you are engaging with a negative person, listen to them, really listen to them.  Send them love instead of irritation.  Watch their energy shift.  It works.  Try it.

Articles abound on avoiding negative people like the plague. We are told they suck the energy right out of us.  Really?  Why aren’t you in charge of your own energy? Perhaps you need to learn how to master your energy.  Tapping or EFT can help with this.

Today, it seems, no one has any tolerance for those poor unfortunate souls who see the world through a negative filter. And I’ve often wondered why. When a family member is grieving for a lost love, we try to comfort them. When our friends or colleagues are sad or depressed we try and cheer them up.  Even with the long term depressed we are mostly sympathetic. We have accepted that depression is an illness. But is depression vastly different from being in a negative state or seeing the world through from a negative perspective?  Most of us would agree that depression is not a conscious choice.  I would argue that chronic negativity is not a conscious choice either, but a state in which an individual has been repeatedly subjected to multiple circumstances and situations which have ended in negative consequences, and many of them dire.

  • We don’t understand that chronic negativity is not a choice

To understand how this repeated exposure to negative consequences results in a chronic negative mindset, we need to understand how neural pathways work. Neurons are nerve cells which make up the core of the nervous system. Clusters of neurons work together to create a memory, belief or a learned behavior. When these neurons are connected, they are referred to as a neural pathway.

Neural pathways are created when we experience life events. When some of us experience multiple negative consequences with strong emotional attachments, we develop a chronic negative mindset. Choice doesn’t come into it.  And telling a glass half empty person to think positively is like telling a depressed person to get over it.  It’s useless and futile and virtually impossible.

Instead of projecting our own denied negativity onto someone else, why not give them the benefit of the doubt?  Why not try and see through their mask of pain and embrace their humanity?  Why not spare a thought for those who live with chronic negativity. Try imagining the number of circumstances that this person has experienced which has led them to this truly awful place. And believe me it is a truly awful place.

The real test of just how positive you are is to spend a day with a negative person and still see  your glass half full. I dare you.

Dont Avoid Negative People



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