I have always had a knack for disarming bullies or diffusing potentially violent or dangerous situations.
You might remember the story about me stepping in and ordering about half a dozen bikies, hell bent on killing one of their own when I was by myself at night. But, strangely enough, they obeyed my commands and left empty handed.
I could tell dozens of stories about 40 kg me physically breaking up fights between men, preventing an all out brawl with gate crashers at my son’s 18th birthday party, never needing a bouncer at my singles functions with over 400 people because I managed the energy in the room and so many more.
One of the things I teach in my BullyProof work is that it’s possible to stop being the target of bullies when we learn to manage our own responses.
In all of those potentially dangerous situations I was either unafraid or temporarily channeled the Terminator, possibly both at times. I also held no judgement about the behaviour and these are the two factors that make all the difference in situations like this.
It’s an energy thing. In those moments I drew on an inner power, a knowingness that I was safe, and very powerful. And the men involved with me in those situations knew it.
They could feel it. We can all feel each other’s energy and nothing is more palpable and real than fear.
Bullies count on this. That’s their game. When you show no fear, their game collapses like a house of cards.
And it can be learned. I had that ability naturally which is why I know that my mission is about personal power and how it comes from our emotions.
Telling bullies to stop bullying is a total waste of energy. It will never happen. Their power surge is far too strong to give up that game.
Those who demand that bullies stop show little knowledge of the dynamics of human behaviour. Bullies are driven by a very strong urge to feel powerful.
The most effective and less damaging antidote to bullying is to beat them at their own game. Don’t give them your powerful energy in the form of fear. If they were already powerful they wouldn’t need to steal yours. Once you understand that, fear can dissipate more easily. Bullies are toothless tigers.
But learning not to be afraid of bullies is the easy part. Letting go of the judgement around their behaviour is the hardest for many of us as we are hardwired to believe that they ‘shouldn’t’ behave like that and we ‘shouldn’t’ have to put up with it.
That’s the biggest trap of all. Bullies are a piece of cake in comparison to how much judgement we hold around this.
More about that in my next post.
Become #BullyProof. It’s awfully empowering.