It’s easy to tell people to ‘Stop being triggered,’ but how do you stop it? How do you stop other people from triggering your emotions? How do you not take things personally, feel hurt, angry or even enraged when someone pushes your buttons?
Some of us seem to be able to do this automatically. (These people are one step away from being saints) I am not one of those people. Some of us seem to be able to do it with a reasonable amount of self talk. I am not one of those people. Some breathe through it and some drop into their heart. Apparently, that works for many as well. I am not one of those people. I’ve read that meditation works, but not quickly enough for me.
How I was triggered
In my (much) younger years I was nicknamed the Angry Ant in my family. I was triggered by just about anything, unmade beds, dishes in the sink, people changing their minds if my plans were disrupted, rudeness, aggressive people and the list was endless. Today, it takes a great deal for me to be triggered by what anyone else does.
I have learned to stop being triggered by circumstances outside my control and by the actions of others. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel some negative emotions when things go wrong or if people don’t live up to my expectations.
Often, being disrespected or misunderstood comes close to triggering me but I do not let strong emotions overwhelm me these days.
I stopped being triggered
So, how did I make this shift? And here I’m not talking about repressing my emotions. If you had ever witnessed the full extent of my emotions, you would know that wasn’t possible.
The vehicle was Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping. Every single time I was triggered, I used the technique which involved tapping on various points on my upper body on the emotions and nearly always it was revealed to me that being triggered emotionally was little more than self judgement which I then projected onto others.
What I learned about being triggered
In the process I learned to rewire my brain to take 100% responsibility for what I feel. I learned that being triggered gave me an opportunity for growth, personal and spiritual. I learned that instead of being triggered I was able to look at circumstances very differently. If we choose to make a mind shift we might eventually come to the conclusion as I did that everyone is really our teacher.
It taught me that other people are not to blame for our triggering.
And it made me far less judgmental and much more compassionate. And much less self critical.
To stop being triggered is freedom
The upside of not being triggered is that those who would normally trigger you, bother you less. That leaves you free to spend your time in more productive ways. You also have much less conflict in your life. And who doesn’t want that?
When we are triggered by life situations or by other people, we mull over the circumstances often to the point of obsession. We can think of nothing else. We waste hours ruminating on how it shouldn’t have happened or what you should have said or done and spend valuable time trying to enroll the support and sympathy of friends and family who aren’t involved and often don’t want to be.
It’s all a terrible waste of time and it doesn’t have to be like that.
If you’d like me to teach you how you can have the emotional freedom to stop being triggered by others, let’s make it happen. Or read more about this amazing Thought Zapper. It really is a miracle. That’s Magic. Mindset Magic.
Twitter: rosemarynknight
October 19, 2015 at 8:19 pm #
I love the line about the fact that it is always about ‘me’ and it is so true and that knowledge enables me to pull back from the initial reaction and instead step back into a peaceful place. It doesn’t always work if I am not being deliberate about it but I am certainly better than I used to be. Great post.
Rosemary recently posted..You and Me – We are weird! Because We Want It All And We Are Going To Get It
And I’m sure you are a lot better and that it increases every day. I am impressed with your daily output on social media. You are a powerhouse and very inspiring. Thanks for commenting on my post. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for that Maureen. We can only stop being triggered when we decide we have had enough. The post was mainly for those who are triggered, because only they can make changes. I never thought about the impact on others. Another very good reason to learn how to stop being triggered.
Madonna recently posted..How to Stop Being Triggered
People know they have emotional triggers but they don’t often understand how their reaction to triggers affect those they love. Living with my ex-husband left us all walking on egg shells not knowing what was going to set off a tirade of abuse. Eventually, I left him because he refused to see there was a problem.