Asking aggressive people and bullies to stop bullying is about as effective as asking the fox to stop raiding the chicken house. We are targeting the wrong person to initiate change. The reason we do this is because we think it makes sense. They’re the ones exhibiting the bad behaviour so naturally they should change. Logical, isn’t it and of course seems fair.
But it’s far from logical. Until an understanding of the dynamics of bullying is completely understood we will continue to put the emphasis in the wrong place and wonder why we aren’t making a dent in the problem.
The aggressor in these situations is powerfully driven by a force so strong that attempts at logic, appeals to their better natures or any sanctions that might be applied, pale into insignificance in comparison. In other words, the perpetrator gets a massive power surge from these activities. And here it is easy to lay blame and curse and swear and yell about punishment, but it won’t help and it doesn’t and won’t change behaviour.
The only approach that works is to radically empower those on the receiving end of bullying by increasing their own self worth to the point at which they stop being a target. Become BullyProof is a coaching program for those ready to take responsibility for themselves and to stop being a target for this type of behaviour. And at the risk of being called someone who blames the victim, it takes two to tango in every human interaction and yet it only takes one party to end it.
Bullying DOES NOT happen to everyone, regardless of what you’ve been told. Bullies and aggressors do not choose empowered people, they choose soft targets, those who are easily intimidated and who give their personal power away in a flash. I can speak from experience, so lectures about blaming the victim fall on deaf ears for me because blame has nothing to to with it and everything to do with responsibility.
The approach that I teach is one of self empowerment and it is the only real antidote to bullying. We can either be a victim or a victor. Become BullyProof gives us a choice.
If you’d like to see how this program can help you book a 15 Minute Discovery Session if you are ready to become immune to bullying.